I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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