I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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