Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
