I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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