He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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