At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize