just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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