We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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