so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
