She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
