ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
They have beer where we have blood.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize