remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't think brook has ever known best
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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