Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
