My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
