I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize