4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
