Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
