I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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