I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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