it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
