In the future we'll all be gay
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
