also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
