when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize