Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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