since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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