why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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