THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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