Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
