There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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