You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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