If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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