i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
