So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
