Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
