So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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