so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize