Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
