I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
