I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
