that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
