Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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