just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
