im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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