Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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