been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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