My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
