The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
