you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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