She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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