My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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