I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
