wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
