Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
