mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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