We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
