3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm having to shit out rocks
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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