so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
