just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
