Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
