i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
