I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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