I want to have your abortion
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
