i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
