I'm going to jail i love you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
