best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
