My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
