Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
meet me or not, i'm out of control
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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