Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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