So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
