The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Every concussion has its silver lining
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize