the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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