I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
