did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
