Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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