Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
